Innocent Children and America's Moral Crisis

First, what I say, of course, is purely my opinion. But that’s what blogs are for, right? I don’t mean to offend, but sometimes I feel strongly enough or inspired enough about something to where I just have to write about it. I hope those that don’t agree with me can at least respect my point of view. If you don’t agree with me, I promise that if you start your own blog I will read it and give your points food for thought. Having said that, here goes:

(John Moore/Getty Images)

This post won't be long. Short and sweet. Just a commentary about the most recently implemented practice of separating migrant children from their parents at the border.

It’s wrong.

I’m probably preaching to the choir here. In fact, I probably won't change many minds. But just some points I wanted to make.

First, I’ve read some really insensitive Facebook posts expressing the opinion that if parents don’t want to be separated from their children, they shouldn’t cross the border illegally. Never mind that these people aren’t criminals, but fellow human beings who are simply desperate for better lives for themselves and their children. Despite that, even if you want to blame the parents, there’s one key point that’s being missed here: It’s about the children, stupid.

These children have no control over whether they are brought here are not. They don’t deserve this kind of treatment. They don’t deserve to be traumatized in this way. They are innocent children who need to be with their families. To rip them apart from their mothers and fathers in this way and then detain them in institutional-like settings is, to me, evil.

Second, in response to our Attorney General, who quotes Romans 13 from the Bible to justify such an atrocious policy  – I say I can’t help but wonder how many others may have used this passage to justify their brutal acts. Maybe the Nazis? Maybe abusive slave owners during what was another dark time in our history? And since when do we use Bible passages to dictate our policy? We do have such a thing as separation of church and state. It’s not a recent thing – the concept was the brainchild of our founding fathers. And what else does the Bible say? Aren’t we forbidden to eat shellfish? So when will the federal government start closing down all the Red Lobsters in this country? Sorry, but in my heart I’m thinking Jesus would have thought what we’re doing right now is NOT okay.

Third, when President Trump blames the Democrats for this he reminds me of an abusive boyfriend or husband. Follow my line of thinking here.

I was in an abusive relationship once when I had a boyfriend with a volatile temper. It was mostly verbal and emotional abuse I suffered, but once in a while I would get hit and thrown around too. I remember so vividly that instead of taking responsibility for his own actions, he would deflect the blame onto me. It was my fault that he had to treat me that way. So many times he would tell me that if only I would just change in this way or that, he wouldn’t get so mad at me to the point where I would have to suffer his wrath. In other words, I made him treat me that way. (Fortunately, I was able to eventually escape that relationship. But it was only after being far removed from it that I realized how insidious his logic was.)

So how do I use that experience to make the analogy to President Trump? He says he doesn’t like to see children separated from their parents, but the Democrats are making him do it. Yes, if only the Democrats would cave to his demands and agree to build that stupid wall, then he wouldn’t have to use these children as political pawns and rip them away from their mothers’ arms. Okay, that’s a load of crap. He can stop this at any time. Just like an abusive husband – deflecting the blame for his own actions and resisting any accountability.

Mind you, this isn’t a Democrat versus Republican thing. There are good people on both sides. And both sides should know that we are in the middle of a moral crisis here. Not Democrat versus Republican, but right versus wrong.

I guess in this day and age, maybe the divide of right versus wrong seems gray at times. But I would think common sense would dictate that all of us, no matter what side we’re on, would see this as so obviously wrong.

Call your congressional representatives. Call your senators. Express your outrage. And for God’s sake, the next time any of us want to look at refugees and immigrants as the bad guys, as the enemies, as animals (Trump’s words, not mine), please remember that we are all children of God. We are all fellow human beings.

Do what’s right.

JCI Revive!

On April 2, 1998 – 20 years ago next week – I joined my local chapter of the Jaycees. At the time, I had just had my second baby and was acclimating as a new stay-at-home

mom. After about three months of cleaning up soiled diapers and folding laundry each day, I started to wonder, “Is this all there is?” I knew I needed to pursue some kind of interest beyond just being a mommy.

So one day in the community paper I saw that the local Jaycee chapter was hosting a “Meet the Jaycees” night. I called the contact number for more information and spoke to a very nice person named Natalie. I ended up going that night and before the event was over, I was sworn in as a member.

I jumped in. Within a month I was newsletter editor. The next year I was Individual Development Vice President. Then Management Vice President (twice). And then, ultimately, President in 2002.

We were an active chapter with a diverse array of programming – social stuff, along with professional development events, charity fundraisers, and then the various community events we participated in, from corn booths at the fair to annual prayer breakfasts, to Christmas events to benefit underprivileged children, to hosting parties for developmentally disabled adults.

The wealth of projects made us a very well-rounded chapter. And I was proud to have served such a dynamic and active chapter. The year I was president, we had approximately 76 members in our chapter by the end of the year. I know this, because this is the number we needed to receive “Blue Chip” status from the national organization.

During my tenure I was honored with many awards. I still have many, but only a couple of the most special ones hang on my wall: the presidential appreciation plaque with my gavel; and my framed and matted JCI Senate certificate, which I received in 2004. Plus the lifetime membership award I received to the Boone County Jaycees.

So, long story short – Jaycees had quite the impact on my life. Though I do hit an event every once in a while, I’m no longer very active, as I’m not supposed to be. The organization is specifically for 18 to 40 year olds, the purpose to develop these young people into young leaders. I’m way over the age of 40, so my time is up.

But I do have three sons ages 18 to almost 23. Wouldn’t it be special if someday they were active in the JCI organization! I’m not sure how that could happen. The oldest has moved away to Lexington, the younger two are in school. But having learned what I have about the organization of late, I think it would be awesome if my own kids could someday become active. (I’d even pay their first-year dues.)

I happened upon the JCI national/international website a few weeks ago and I have to say, I’m impressed. While I have at times had questions whether the organization was going to make it here 

in the states, it appears the organization has rebranded itself into a massive global effort where all young people are invited to do their part to make a positive impact in the world. JCI is so much more than just what we do here in Kentucky. No, JCI is active throughout the world – in Europe, in South and Central America, in Japan, and in Africa, among others. There are just so many opportunities to make the world a better place while at the same time developing yourself to be the leaders of tomorrow. Check it out for yourself: go to https://jci.cc.

There are still some chapters that are active, but many are led by more seasoned members – some of whom are past the Jaycee age. This, of course defeats the purpose of the organization to train up and coming young leaders.

I think if my boys were to get involved (a big if, of course), it would have to be on their own terms, by starting their own chapter from the ground up – one they can own from the start. I know they have plenty of buddies they can recruit.

And one thing I’ve learned about recruiting is that if you start out with a few young men, the young women will follow. (Come on, oldest son, at least have you and your friends check out the website and see if their would be something you’d be vaguely interested in.)

So if any of you has near grown children over the age of 18 – children who could benefit from becoming engaged in their community, have them check out this organization. They’re nice people, of course. And what makes them particularly special is that each one has his or her particular vision for making the world a better place.

And given this current climate of unproductive political discourse, intolerance for diversity, and limited empathy for the plight of others, I can’t help but wonder if an international organization such as JCI may be the catalyst for more open dialogue, greater understanding and an enhanced sense of compassion for others.

And maybe it’s not initially a project that changes the world. Maybe it’s simply selling corn at a county fair to make enough to provide some nice gifts to underprivileged kids at Christmas. Sometimes the path to changing the world comes in small steps.

All I know is I greatly valued my time with the organization. I found a sense of purpose there. I’d love to pass it on!

The Jaycee Creed

We believe:

That faith in God gives meaning and purpose to human life;

That the brotherhood of man transcends the sovereignty of nations;

The economic justice can best be won by free men through free enterprise;

That government should be of laws rather than of men;

That earth’s great treasure lies in human personality;

And that service to humanity is the BEST WORK OF LIFE.

If you’re over 18 and looking for a great outlet beyond your work for making great friends, developing professionally and making a difference in your community then check it out:  https://jci.cc.

Counting My Blessings

It’s 6 am, though I’ve been awake since 4:30 am. I wake up around 4 or 4:30 every morning. I think it’s the curse of the middle-aged woman. So I decided to get up, though it’s too early to really do anything. So why not pound out a few words for a blog that barely received any attention

this year?

It is now Black Friday – the Friday after Thanksgiving. Yesterday was busy, as I was pretty much in the kitchen all day (and the day before, also). Of course, I sat with my family for the traditional Thanksgiving prayer, but didn’t really have time to ponder what I am really, truly thankful for. So let me get a couple of obvious ones out of the way, then go on to others. First the obvious ones:

• Family. Of course, family. No matter how dysfunctional a family one may come from, it’s always appropriate to be thankful for family. I am especially thankful, though, for the family I have raised – a quite stable family, may I add. Ed and I have been married going on 24 years. And Clay, Luke and Sam make us so proud, every day. Between school activities, outside community service projects and his job, I don’t know how Sam manages to remain a straight-A student juggling a challenging course load. His skills for time management are impeccable. I would have never guessed that a couple of years ago. Luke is about to begin his first co-op as an electrical engineering major at the University of Louisville. He’ll be working for the Louisville’s utility company as part of the transmission analysis team. I don’t know what that entails, but I’m sure he will be good at it. Clay is graduating from the University of Kentucky in a couple of weeks with a biology degree. He’s currently in a time of discernment, trying to figure out what he wants to do with the rest of his life. In the meantime, he’s a certified nursing aid at the local hospital. This job requires him to figuratively roll up his sleeves and literally get his hands dirty (in other words, he wipes a lot of rear ends). I don’t think Clay knows how much I respect him for doing the work that he does. The job isn’t always pleasant, and for a 22-year-old kid to give it a go for a little while (even if it’s ultimately not his intended career) says a lot about his character. So with my wonderful husband and three precious boys (none of whom have ever been in any kind of trouble, thank goodness), I am most definitely thankful for family. (Of course, this includes my mom and dad, brother, and all my extended family members, including my one surviving grandmother.)

• My friends. Yes, pretty obvious. Whether from my women’s meet-up group, the Jaycees, church, tennis, or anywhere else, I love to get out and just have some girl-time with my friends.

• Work. Another obvious one. I’m so thankful to not only have a job, but one that I like in the Patient Experience Department at St. Elizabeth Healthcare. This year has been especially rewarding, as a project I’m involved in shadowing physicians has enabled me to have a little more direct contact with patients. So much of the interactions I’ve watched between physicians and their patients have been interesting. On a couple occasions, when spouses admitted to the physicians that they could no longer care for their spouses at home, it had me wondering. Of me and my husband, which one of us will it be that will someday have to tell a doctor that we can no longer care for the other? It’s a sad thought, and hopefully it’s way down the road. But so often in healthcare, I think we can be presented with situations where it’s easy to put ourselves in the other person’s shoes. That, of course, is a good thing. I don’t know that there can be too much empathy in healthcare

• Aunt Millie. Okay, she should maybe fall under the “family” category, but I want to give her a paragraph of her own. She’s not doing so well these days. We had to place her in a nursing home in May, and while she is a nice facility, she is slowly withering away – sleeping, losing weight, losing strength, etc. She has dementia, often talking about her own dead relatives in the present tense. Obviously, it’s hard to see this decline, though it’s been gradual for the past four or five years, now. Still, I’m left with my memories of the vibrant woman she once was. The woman who was pretty much a grandmother to my boys. Having never had her own children, she never changed a diaper before my kids came along. Then she went to it like a pro. She was my number one babysitter. I still can see her pulling the boys in a wagon up and down the cul-de-sac at our Kennedy Court home. While we’ve been wondering for years when her time will come, I think Ed and I really think that this holiday season may be her last. So my thoughts are with Aunt Millie and everything she has done for my family.

• My quilting projects. I go slow. I have yet to finish a project this year, though I’m making steady progress on two projects. I don’t get to sew as much as I’d like, but I really like the quiet time when I do. It’s “me” time. I take my speaker and tablet out to my office, set the tablet to Pandora music, light a candle, and then spend the time piecing my quilts as if I was putting a puzzle together. Quilting takes much patience and perseverance. Thus, it’s bet not to rush, but to take it slow and steady. It’s a calming force, which I like.

• My dog. She’s my little baby girl. Spoiled as can be. And she knows it. Much more spoiled than the other two dogs we’ve had. Scout just has the sweetest demeanor. She loves me, though I think she may love the boys more. Too bad for her when they’re all at college. Then it’s just me and my husband.

• Internet shopping. I’ve been doing my Christmas shopping online for at least 15 years now. Love it. When I was younger I used to get into the hustle and bustle of the bricks and mortar stores. Now I just get claustrophobic. With my Amazon Prime membership and the free shipping, I’m good to go. Perhaps someday I’ll venture out again.

• The First Amendment. With such vicious attacks on the free press of late, I feel I need to emphasize how crucial it is that a free society have a free (and sometimes adversarial) press. This is one thing about President Trump that I don’t like (one thing, mind you. Not to say there aren’t many more things I don’t like, but I’m just going to stick with this one. For now, at least.) Thank God for mainstream media – CNN, New York Times, Washington Post, CBS News, etc. Fox News is about the closest thing to state-run media that we have (hence, why Trump pretty much only does interviews with Fox News, fielding total softball questions from his buddy Sean Hannity). Of course, we could completely evolve into a culture that eradicates a free media. I hear there are certain countries that do that – Russia, North Korea, Iran, etc. Wonder how it’s working out for them?

• The First Amendment, Part II: Free Expression. Part of the first amendment is a right to free expression. There’s been a lot of debate lately (instigated by President Trump, no doubt to distract from his own issues) about the appropriateness of professional athletes kneeling during the national anthem to protest racial oppression. Here are my thoughts. I love this nation and proudly stand for the anthem. I don’t doubt that those doing the kneeling also love this nation and want to see certain conditions get better in an already great nation. I don’t think it was ever a slam on our troops, the flag, or our nation in general. Just a peaceful protest. Peaceful protest is not a new thing. It’s happened quite often in our history. Remember the Civil Rights movement? Those who feel that kneeling is disrespectful have every right to feel that way. But those who kneel have every right to do it because it is their First Amendment right to do so. What’s not right is when those who feel offended think they can quash the rights of the others. It’s important to note, I think, that this world would be a boring (and dangerous) place if everyone went along with the consensus. Dissenters keep us on our toes. People should cool it with the uproar and seek to understand the opposite views of others. Anyway, I’m thankful for the troops who put themselves in the service of this country every day. And I’m thankful that one of the reasons they serve is to protect my right to express myself.

• My American Citizenship. All in all, I’m proud to be an American. Our country is great in so many ways. But it has its flaws too. Our political system is made up of folks who don’t really take the interests of the people at heart. They are more worried about getting re-elected. So their votes are up to the highest bidder (which special interest will give to their campaigns). The concept of a career politician is an antiquated one. Term limits should be the new law of the land. Just like we do for president. (Thank God.) Then, maybe when politicians aren’t beholden to special interests we can get some real progress done with things like gun control (I’m sure another mass shooting is just around the corner), labor laws (such as a real living wage) and healthcare (it should be a right, not a privilege).

• Finally, I’m thankful for my health. I think I feel better now at 52 than I did at 32. Other than a shaky left knee (a result of dislocating it 20 years ago), I think I’m in pretty good shape. I’ve lost a little weight.  I do okay on the tennis court, and I’ve made a resolution to take up hot yoga again this winter. I used to get really depressed in the winter – seasonal affective disorder. But not so much anymore. I’ve found a couple of great things about winter – roaring fires in my fireplace, and college basketball (mostly UK Wildcats, though I like to take in a Louisvillle game too when I can). Oh, and I burn a lot of candles in the wintertime, too. Somehow it gets me through.

These are the things I am thankful for. This is pretty much the big stuff. Every day I’m thankful for a host of small stuff too – whether it be my food processor, the mail coming on time, a bargain I found at the store or online, the dog curling up in my lap, a two-hour happy hour with friends, and so on. Yes, sometimes I get down about things – not enough money, too much debt, occasional lapses in self-confidence, etc. So it’s good to take stock sometimes about what you’re thankful for. I’m glad I did. It shows me that I truly am blessed.

Looking Ahead to 2017

My husband told me he doesn’t make New Year’s resolutions. Good enough. I’m not sure I do any more, either. But as we begin a new year, I find it a good time to reflect on the challenges down the road this coming year. Maybe it’s what I hope to do. But I hesitate to really call these things resolutions. So here are some things I hope to do (and yes, some may be harder than others):

•        Pray for our country and the Trump presidency. I don’t normally delve into politics on my blog, but this is a big one. I must confess – he wasn’t my choice. In fact, I’m still scratching my head trying to make sense of it. While I won’t elaborate here, I don’t think much of him as a person. (Mind you, it’s not a Democrat versus Republican thing, it’s just stuff about him.) But I’m really hoping he can win me over. Having said this, I feel I must respect the democratic process that elected him to office. The fact of the matter is, people voted for him, and because of the way our electoral college system works, he was elected. So yes, he will be my president and I truly want him to succeed. His success (as I define it) will only benefit me and my loved ones. So I will pray for him, and put 2017 in God’s hands.
•        Finish this weight loss thing. I began my latest weight management journey in August, and am feeling much better. So at least that’s one thing I don’t have to begin from scratch with the new year. So far, down 42 pounds (and for those wondering how, the New Direction very low calorie diet through the St. Elizabeth Physicians Weight Management Center). I still have about another 20 pounds to lose. And then, after that is when I’ll hit the more challenging part – keeping it off. I’ve done well at being focused on this, but admit that I haven’t lost quite as much during the holidays. But I guess I did good to maintain. As we hit the New Year, I have a renewed focus.
•        Complete Clay’s quilt. I’ve made quilts for my sons Luke and Sam. Now it’s Clay’s turn. I started it a while back but I’m still early in the process. I’m hoping to turn it up a gear, as I’d like to have it done by the time he graduates college this summer.
•        Stay strong. I mean this in a more emotional sense. Within the next few months we will most likely be transitioning Ed’s aunt to a higher level of long-term care. I think I’m procrastinating at beginning the process because the prospect of this breaks my heart.
•        Look forward to new professional challenges. In March I will have been with St. Elizabeth Healthcare for three years. Considering the tenure of most employees there, this still makes me a rookie. But I’m so grateful to be a part of this organization and its mission. New challenges are in store for me in 2017, and I certainly hope I’m up for those challenges. This is but one thing that brings me to my next point.
•        Overcome my fear of failure. How many people fail to try something out of fear they may fail? So many, I’m sure. I try to tell myself that the only real failure is to not try at all. And that occasional failure may be a means for becoming better and stronger. If we learn from our failures, are those not learning opportunities? I try to see it that way. Yet it’s hard when you so desperately want to be perfect the first time (or the second or third) and to please the people you serve.
•        Blog more. I launched this blog several years ago during a challenging time in life – probably more as a coping mechanism than anything. Anything I post online is meant to be read. I wouldn’t post it if it wasn’t for anybody and everybody to read. But I guess the blog is more for me than anyone else. I would still write it even if nobody read it. Still, if anything in any of my posts has ever provided insight, or wisdom, or just touched your heart, that’s great too. I think I only wrote two blogs in all of 2016. Let’s see if I can double or triple that in 2017. Still, I don’t want to post something just for the sake of posting. But when I feel inspired to write, it seems the words just flow.
•        Pray more. This goes without saying. I realize my relationship with God could always be stronger, and should go beyond church on Sunday and evening grace at the dinner table. I do try to live my life as God would want me – which includes following Christ’s example of love and tolerance for all.

OK, so that’s enough. That’s just a few things I’m facing as we enter 2017. I’m sure I’ll think of more. I guess my first challenge is to try to come down from the emotional high of the holidays and brace for the winter ahead. I would say let’s skip January and February and head straight to March, but then wouldn’t I be wishing my life away? Besides, something really awesome could happen between now and then. I just might not know what it is.

No, I won’t wish my life away. Nor will I become overwhelmed by these various to-do’s. And besides, one thing age has taught me is to not get so freaked out, even if I have an ambitious agenda.

So maybe I do have just a couple of resolutions for 2017.

I’ll take life one day at a time.

I’ll remember to stop and breathe.

And most of all, I’ll have the faith to put it all in God’s hands.

Time for a Fall Project!

It's project time again. Which means we are minus a bathroom.

Those of you who know my husband Ed know that he lives

Our completely unfinished bathroom.

for his next project, and this one happens to be the upstairs bathroom. This weekend Ed spent his time completely demolishing everything in the bathroom, and now there's pretty much nothing left except for the closet shelves.

So now this means that son Sam gets to share our bathroom in our bedroom, which he's not all too thrilled about. But at least he's the only one. Luke left for college a few weeks ago so he's not here, and Clay's been gone to college for a while now.

They were all home last weekend for the Labor Day weekend. And of course, Ed put them to work. What a comical scene to watch the four of them attempt to get a 350 pound cast iron tub up the stairs. I thought for sure someone would break his neck, but somehow they prevailed.

Now that the demolition is complete it's time to put it all back together, which will take some time. Ed has until Thanksgiving. We're hosting this year, so we'll have to have the bathroom back in order for when the company comes.

So I guess this is where some of the decision making starts. Ed says we're going to have to decide on a faucet set for the bathtub soon, as I guess that's one of the first places he starts. So do I go with black, which I tend to prefer; or with the chrome or brushed nickel, where there are more choices? We already have the new vanity and vanity top, as well as the aforementioned heavy bathtub. Just want to make sure our new bathroom is perfectly color coordinated. That's pretty much my job. All the hard labor falls in Ed's hands.

Whatever the finished product, I'm sure it will be spectacular. My husband does good work. It wouldn't be inaccurate to call him a perfectionist when it comes to stuff like this.

Just as long as he knows he's on a deadline. Turkey day isn't so far away!

Of Patchwork and Perfection: Life Lessons Learned from Quilting

“Good enough.”

Luke's Quilt

I couldn’t believe I actually heard myself saying that. But that was the case just a few days ago as I was joining the ends of the binding on a quilt that I had been working on for the past five months. For those of you familiar with quilting, you might be able to relate when I say that joining the ends of binding is one of my least favorite tasks in the process (second only to pin basting the quilt sandwich once I complete the quilt top). And my desire is that when I join the ends that the edges line up perfectly. But they seldom do.

In this instance, the edges hardly lined up. It actually kind of came out kind of sloppy. But after five months of patience, persistence, and good old-fashioned sweat putting this quilt together I came to the conclusion that while my efforts to join the binding ends were far from perfect, they would have to do – simply because I didn’t have it in me to rip out the stitches and try again.

This brings me to larger point. A few years ago, while I was working in the corporate world (which I’m still doing, but in a different corporate setting), the higher-ups thought it might be fun for all of the staff to take one of those personality-type tests. I’m not sure which one it was, but it doesn’t really matter.

Anyway, I’d like to say my “label” was unique, but I actually came out in the same classification as about 60 percent of the staff – “perfectionist.”

Wow. Perfectionist. In some ways I wouldn’t consider myself a perfectionist at all, but as I examine my inner depths I guess maybe I am. I do want things to be just as perfect as possible – including myself. And I have always stressed out if there wasn’t something about myself that was just perfect. Being that I’m wrought with imperfection, that would mean I’m quite stressed.

Well, a couple of years ago I took up quilting. I thought it would be a fun thing to do. I’ve always loved quilts – their simple beauty. And to me, a handmade quilt simply exudes love. I actually had it on my bucket list to make a quilt. So I took a class and made a small quilt, and loved the creative process so much that I just kept on going.

I made a quilt for my youngest son Sam, one for my grandmother, one for my best friend from high school, one for my dad, and now I’ve just finished one for my middle son Luke – a gift for his upcoming high school graduation. (My next project – one  for my oldest son Clay.)

And what have I learned in the process? I’ve learned that if you’re a perfectionist and want to be broken of that, there’s nothing better than to take up quilting.

Because unless you’re an absolute master quilter (which I’m not), you’ll most likely look imperfection in  the eye. Dozens of times during the process of creating any masterpiece of mine, I’ll cringe at this flaw, or that one. And as I gift my quilts to my loved ones I will make a point to say (as if I owe an explanation) that while the quilt was made with the ultimate of love, it has many flaws – just like me.

Yes, I cringe at the flaws. But the interesting thing is when the quilt is all made and I take a step back and look at the entire piece, I find it to be absolutely beautiful.  I don’t even notice the flaws.

It got me to thinking. Could we as humans be so obsessive about our tiny flaws that we’re unable to take a step back, see ourselves as whole people and appreciate how beautiful we are?

I’ve never denied my flaws. While I won’t divulge them here (those who know me best know what they are), I can’t help but wonder if one of my ultimate flaws is being so obsessive about my flaws that I don’t appreciate  my own value as a whole person.

In that sense, maybe I should give myself a break. And while I think there’s always opportunity for self-reflection and self-improvement, maybe it doesn’t hurt once in a while to accept yourself and say “good enough.”

As for the quilt I just finished, it’s not perfect, but not bad. But it doesn’t have to be perfect. I made it for my son Luke, who I love deeply. And when he cuddles up under the new quilt that I just finished and put on to his bed tonight, I don’t necessarily need for him to inspect the binding, or examine whether all the stitches are straight. I don’t know whether he’ll notice if all the seams line up. I don’t care.

All I really want for him to do is to get under that quilt tonight and know that his mother loves him.

Killing Time in the Kentucky Bend

A few weekends ago we headed south to Murray, Kentucky to see our brilliant son Luke, who was in the middle of his five-week stint at Murray State University in the Kentucky Governor’s Scholar’s Program. Saturday was Family Day, so we left our house at 5 a.m. just so we could get to Murray by 9 a.m. (central time) to pick him up and spend the day with him.

The dilemma, of course, was once we got there, what do we do? Though it seems like a quaint college town, the things to do in Murray seem to be limited.

Being that I had taken up quilting a little less than a year ago, I really wanted to go to the National Quilt Museum in Paducah, which was about 45 minutes away. Unfortunately, I was outvoted on that one. Apparently, I’m the only real quilt enthusiast in the family.

So we just started driving. South, we went. Murray is close to the border, so within 15 minutes or so we were in Tennessee.

The modest sign that welcomes travelers to the Kentucky Bend.

That’s when my husband had his bright idea. We would head for Kentucky. The other Kentucky. The Kentucky that isn’t part of the rest of Kentucky.

I never knew of such a Kentucky, but my husband had actually noticed on an atlas once that the most southwest part of Kentucky is actually detached from the rest of the state. Getting there entails leaving Kentucky, traveling through Tennessee, then heading north back into the “other” Kentucky. It was the one part of Kentucky where he had never been and wanted to go.

It’s called the Kentucky Bend. And all I can say is if you want to go there, you’ll have to really, really want to go there.

It took us about three hours to get there from Murray. We did stop at a restaurant near Reelfoot Lake for lunch, and that was nice. But after lunch we proceeded with our journey toward the Bend. Through Tiptonville, Tennessee we went, then north up Highway 22.

Yes, we went north, up through the middle of nowhere. At one point we had the waters of the Mississippi on both sides of us. I feared that we might encounter water on the road, and if that was the case, I wasn’t willing to risk flooding our van just to get to the other Kentucky. But the water stayed mercifully off the road. We glimpsed some signs of civilization. An occasional house and farm; some electric lines. So it’s not as if we were totally out of reach of reality.

A few miles of some twisty-turny driving, and we finally arrived. To the “other” Kentucky. And now that I’ve been to this other Kentucky, let me enlighten all who may wonder what is there.

Nothing. No historical markers. No signs explaining how

Courtesy: Jim Efaw, author of  this  work

this little bubble-like piece of land managed to get detached from the mainland of Kentucky (answer: an earthquake). No parks. Just nothing.

We entered the Kentucky Bend as we approached the crude (but I’m guessing just as official) Welcome to Kentucky sign. You’d think the folks in Frankfort would send these fine citizens of the Kentucky Bend one of the more official looking Welcome to Kentucky signs. But I’m thinking instead they told the residents to make their own.

I shouldn’t say there isn’t anything there. There is. There’s corn. Lots of it. And we did spot what appears to be a family cemetery. And a sparse sprinkling of homes. I believe the last census put the number of Kentucky Bend residents at 17. It could still be that – more or less.

And that’s pretty much it. We followed the road for a couple of miles until it turned into a dirt road, and then we didn’t go any farther. I’m guessing if we did, though, we would have hit the waters of the Mississippi. At that point we headed back into Tennessee (despite the remoteness of the area, kudos to Tennessee – they did have one of the official looking signs). Then back toward Murray, Kentucky.

I have to say, the adventure left me a bit underwhelmed. But at least I can say that I’ve officially been to the Kentucky Bend – the part of Kentucky that isn’t attached to the rest of Kentucky. And my husband can make that claim, too, which makes him happy.

Of course, since that exciting excursion took about five to six hours, there was no time for the National Quilt Museum afterward. Guess that will be another adventure for another day – and yes, I will make it there someday. If I can grin and bear the Kentucky Bend, then I’m sure my husband can spend an afternoon learning to appreciate the beauty of fiber arts.

For those who are determined to go to the Kentucky Bend, have at it. Just know you’re only going to say you’ve been there, and for no other reason. It really is pretty much a destination to nowhere.