Did I ever mention that I hate diets? Normally I’m a
proponent of portion control, because with restrictive diets all I ever think
about is what I can’t have instead of what I can.
But right now I’m sort of in a state of desperation, as
somehow over the last year and a half I’ve ballooned to the point to where I’m
starting to grow out of my clothes. I need an emergency intervention – a quick
change to get me going back in the right direction (that would be down).
So I caved to my own philosophy of just eating in moderation
(which I, for the most part, think I do anyway – but because of my mostly
sedentary lifestyle and lack of exercise I’m guessing my metabolism is in the
toilet). I figured this called for extreme measures. Hence, I resorted to the “meal
replacement” plan. Specifically, I chose the Atkins protein shakes – one in the
morning for breakfast, one in the afternoon for lunch, a “sensible” dinner low
on carbs, and an Atkins protein bar for a bedtime snack. The plan can be
excruciating at times, but at least it’s simple.
Early results were promising. Four pounds in the first three
days. Yay! So I set a goal for myself – that in the next six days I would lose
only two more pounds to reach my initial goal. Did I follow the meal
replacement plan to the tee? Well, no. Last weekend I pretty much bypassed it
and consumed real food, but ate very little. And two days ago my hunger did
give in. I succumbed to the temptation of fried chicken and mashed potatoes.
But otherwise, I was good.
And today was the magic day. The day I was supposed to get
on the scale and feel the satisfaction of reaching my goal – six pounds total
lost. Except that didn’t happen. I not only didn’t lose those additional two
pounds, I actually gained a pound back, making for a net total of three. That’s
only half my goal. Bummer.
Thing is, I was so certain that I had lost those two
additional pounds. Your mind plays tricks on you. Sort of a psychosomatic
response to all of your hard-fought efforts. (“Are my clothes feeling a little
looser? Why, yes, I think they are!”)
So today I rebel. I ate real food for breakfast – just a
modest bowl of Special K, but one I would have deemed a cardinal sin of late. A
leftover piece of fried chicken for lunch. And now I’m nursing a tasty glass of
white wine – chock full of carbs. Tonight I eat pizza.
And what will tomorrow bring? Right now my attitude is “screw
diets.” But I really am trying not to get discouraged. And I really can’t
afford an entirely new wardrobe. So I guess I’ll try to gather my thoughts and
try to figure out what I need to do to get this done.
As I said, my metabolism is probably shot because I know I don’t
exercise enough (OK, hardly at all). So maybe I need to incorporate some
additional activity into my plan. So what’s the answer here? Will a daily walk
around the neighborhood do the job? Or maybe I need to join a gym? Hmmm.
Personal trainer, maybe? Whoops, we’re getting into some big bucks there.
Guess I’ll take my measly three-pound loss and go from
there. I do have goals – immediate, short-term and long-term. I’m so disappointed
I didn’t hit my immediate goals. But don’t want to give up. That means I’ll
just get fatter.
Yes, I think I’ll continue on this journey and see what
another day brings. But tonight time stands still. Tonight I’ll enjoy just one
more glass of wine and some pizza to boot. Just a small reward for trying so
hard the past 10 days. (Just wondering how many of those three pounds I’ll put
back on tonight!)
And then tomorrow I move forward. Another day, a new
beginning.
