Beefing Up My Bucket List

Ever make a bucket list? I haven’t – at least, not ‘til now.

A couple of weeks ago, as I started to work with a consultant who is helping me get a writing business off the ground, she gave me one of my first assignments – start putting together a bucket list. I was confused. I e-mailed her back for some clarification. “Do you mean the type of list of things that I want to do while I’m still in this world?” She replied in the affirmative, so hence, over the past couple of weeks I’ve been writing out my bucket list.

One would think it would be sort of a morbid thing to do. I mean, who makes out a bucket list? The elderly? Those who are dying? I’m not either (at least I don’t think). And to make things even more challenging, my assignment wasn’t to merely list out a few things – say, a “top 10” list. That would be easy. No, my charge was to come up with at least 100 things. That takes some thought.

Actually, even though I’m stuck right now with only 83 things (17 more to go!), I have found the process to be somewhat enlightening. I never knew I wanted to do so many things. Of course, the regular things are on there – go to Hawaii, be thin, have the kitchen of my dreams. But what I found was that some things that I wanted were so simple and other things somewhat elaborate. Allow me to share some of these things on my bucket list:

·        Go to visit friends I haven’t seen in years – Paula or Ronni in Tennessee, or Brenda in Alabama. And how I’d love to see Marta in North Carolina, too. Fortunately, today’s technology (e.g., Facebook) enables me to always be a click and a few keystrokes away from these dear friends, but how I miss seeing them face-to-face. I long to be able to get away someday to reconnect with those who have been such a special part of my life.

·        Interview my grandmother about her life. Though I have time – she’s only 91. I can only imagine the stories she can tell. Would hate for them to be lost.

·        Make at least one quilt in my life. This means I would actually have to learn to sew, use a sewing machine (finally figured out how to get the bobbin in mine), and develop the skills for quilting. Not sure I have the patience for that. But I’ve always loved quilts. To me they are art. And they embody love and comfort. Nothing like cozying up in a handmade quilt. I have the sewing machine and the how-to books, and even the material to make that first quilt. Still, this one may have to wait until retirement.

·        Take my kids to Disneyworld. They’re growing up on me, and they haven’t experienced Disney yet. I don’t see it happening any time soon due to financial constraints. But it doesn’t mean I don’t hope to do it someday. They may be well into their 20s before it happens, though.

·        Travel the Loveland Bike Trail with my husband. Of course, my husband would actually have to get a bike. But I think we both developed an enthusiasm for biking while we were on vacation in Vermont. The Loveland Bike Trail is the only one around here that I know of that is long enough to make for an all-day affair. Would make for some good quality time between us.

·        See Rockefeller Plaza in New York City at Christmastime. I love Christmas. I love Christmas tree lights. I’m sure it’s a spectacular sight.

·        Read the Bible all the way through. I know people who have done this. I strive to do it too. Someday.

·        Be a philanthropist. This would mean I’m rich!

·        Go on a hot-air balloon ride. I had actually planned to take my husband on this adventure for his 50^th birthday celebration, but lost my job just before I could plan it. So it will have to wait, but it’s still on my list.

·        Have another couple over for dinner. This one sounds doable. Believe it or not, we haven’t really entertained for various reasons over the years – kids at home, relatives living with us, too busy with our lives, etc. Maybe this is one I can cross off the bucket list this year.

·        Travel the Pacific Coast Highway. Never been out West. I hear the scenery off the Pacific Coast Highway is beautiful.

·        Go whitewater rafting. Hey, I’m middle-aged. I need excitement in my life. I seek the rush!

·        Attend the world’s largest Oktoberfest in Munich, Germany. We have so much fun at the world’s second largest Oktoberfest here in Zinzinnati, I can only imagine how much more fun the real thing would be (though I hear they serve the beer warm over there).

·        Get satellite radio. No commercials. Good stuff.

·        Make a difference in a despondent person’s life. Sometimes we question our own worth in this world – whether we really have any impact at all. How nice it is when we know that we do make a difference.

·        Put my children through college. Don’t know how that’s going to happen. Will just keep praying.

·        Host a foosball tournament. We have one rockin’ foosball table, but it gets very minimal use (probably because it’s set up in our basement). The thing needs some action!

·        Purchase a car with heated seats. My ass tends to get cold in the wintertime. No other reason.

·        Refinish my cobbler’s table. The one I bought in 1990 at Goodwill. I’ve already stripped off most of the paint (I did that in 1990). And now it’s sitting in my office. Nice table. Just need to finish stripping the paint off the legs and refinish it. My husband would bet his life on this one that I’ll never finish it.

·        Learn how to fold a fitted sheet. Whenever I attempt to do it, it always ends up in some sort of massive clump. But Aunt Millie can fold a fitted sheet to perfection. I want her to teach me how to do it right. She’s also 91, but in good shape. So I have time.

·        Climb a rock wall. I was a miserable failure the first time I tried to do it (and of course my husband breezed through it). Would like to give it another whirl someday.

·        Learn to shoot guns. Just so I get over being intimidated by them.

·        Go to a Josh Groban concert. Definitely a chick thing.

·        Keep at least one house plant alive during my life. Plants don’t like me. No matter how much (or how little) I take care of them, they die.

Okay, this isn’t all 83, but a good selection. As I said, some things are small, others are more elaborate.

But the experience of thinking about it and putting the list together has been an interesting one. To be honest, when I was given the assignment to do the list, I was perplexed. And I’m still not sure what the purpose of the exercise is. Perhaps it’s just a way to get me thinking in more broad-based ways – sort of “outside the box.” Or maybe it’s supposed to stimulate my senses, or my creativity. If so, I think it’s had its intended effect. But now I’m stalled as I attempt to go for number 84. Certainly there’s something else. I’ll just have to think that much deeper.

The truth is I’ve actually enjoyed putting together my bucket list. It turned out not to be the macabre chore that I suspected it might be, but rather an enlightening and stimulating experience.

So no matter what age you are – young or old – or what state of health you are in, consider putting together your own bucket list, and don’t stop at just a few things! Go for 50, or 75, or all the way to 100! Open your eyes. Search your soul. You just might be surprised at all the things you have left to do!

Gotta Hang With the Slang

When I was a sophomore at the University of Dayton many, many years ago, I became friends with a girl named Amy who was from Puerto Rico. Her native tongue was Spanish and while her English was proficient, it was clear she had not mastered the language. No big deal, of course.

My one attempt to learn her native language – in an Elementary Spanish 101 class at UD – turned out to be a bad experience due to an awful and evil-spirited professor who actually expected you to know the language prior to taking the class.

Turns out that half the class did speak or know the language either because it was their native language or they took years of it in high school, so they took the class for the easy A. This didn’t bode well for me, who didn’t know much more than to count to 10 in Spanish.

So for those of us that couldn’t keep up with those who were more fluent, this horrible professor took great pleasure in humiliating us in front of the whole class when we (or I) couldn’t translate the words from English into Spanish in my head to answer her questions (which she asked us in Spanish). Getting stuck would mean having to weather her accusations that I wasn’t studying or trying hard enough. The fact was I probably studied harder than anyone in the class because I was so behind the majority of the class.

The “professor” clearly had no patience with the students that she was actually going to have to teach the language to. That was my misfortune.

Fortunately for my friend Amy, her friends were much more patient when she didn’t understand something. One memory had to do with a popular song at the time – Stuck on You, by Lionel Richie. She didn’t understand the meaning of what Richie was singing about – the whole concept of being “stuck” on somebody. From Amy’s understanding of the language, it the song would be about one person literally being glued to another. We had to explain that the phrase was slang for being infatuated with someone else.

I realized then that while it must be challenging enough for a non-English speaker to learn proper English, it must be that much more daunting to get a handle on our American slang.

The Wall Street Journal made this very point in a recent article. The article cites business people who have moved to the United States and once they got here realized they had a lot to learn about the way Americans talk. (For instance, one dude had no idea what “I’m peachy” meant.) The article further implied that getting comfortable with slang is essential for communicating and building relationships.

Because of this emphasis on slang, more English as Second Language courses are being mindful of the need to teach a certain degree of slang in their courses for the benefit of those just trying to function in the United States. Still, others turn to the “boob tube” (is that slang?) to get their fill on how Americans really talk. In particular, The Wall Street Journal article mentioned Family Guy as a great show to watch for this purpose.

I recently had to be mindful of slang myself, but in the opposite way. I was doing a freelance assignment – an article on a specific personality test. This was a content article that would appear on the Internet and was meant for an international audience. And because this piece was going to be targeted to a much broader audience beyond the United States, I had to be careful not to use slang that might be confusing. For instance, in one part of the article as I was describing the characteristics of one of the personality types, I wanted to say that this type of person tended to do things “by the book.” It occurred to me, though, that “by the book” might be slang that would not be understood beyond the United States or North America, so I ended up having to use different words to convey the description.

I guess I can be empathetic to the plight of those struggling to learn English, or who maybe know English but maybe not the idioms characteristic of the language here in America. For non-English speakers, I would surmise that learning the slang in many ways is harder than learning the proper English itself. So, my hat’s off (figuratively, not literally) to anyone that puts in the effort to learn the ropes (slang) on how we Americans speak.

Considering that I was a miserable failure at learning Spanish (which apparently, is a simpler language than English), those that take the time to learn our language have that much more admiration from me.

Not that I didn’t learn any Spanish. That is, thanks to my friend Amy.  While the detestable Spanish professor never taught me a thing (she just stressed me out too much), I did ask Amy if she could teach me a sentence, which I remember to this day: Mis maestra de Espanol es una j***a p**a.  Notice that last two words I blocked out. That’s because in English, the sentence translates to: My Spanish teacher is a f***ng b*tch. Certainly the meaning is evident.

Funny that of all the Spanish that went through my head that semester, that’s what I remember.

Guess the sentence just sort of “stuck” with me.