It was just my luck. There I was, about a year ago, sitting in my office at work, minding my own business, typing away on my computer. Then from out of nowhere, lightning struck. Not literally, but at the moment it sure felt like something happened. Not even lightning, I guess, as one can see lightning.
I heard a loud crack and looked down. Right before my eyes, the tempered-glass computer table that I was sitting at spontaneously shattered. No reason, really. Nothing had fallen on the table. I had not hit the table with my fists or with a hammer (then I could understand why it might shatter). The table literally just imploded before my eyes. And as the glass fell from the metal frame of the table, there went my notebook computer along with it. Fortunately, the computer survived with just a few nicks and scratches. But in the wake of this little mini-disaster I was left with thousands of tempered glass pieces, all peppering my office floor. Co-workers who heard the loud crack and then the thundering crash that followed came to my door to see if I was okay. Yes, I was physically okay. But I know I spent the next few minutes with a puzzled look on my face – eyes wide, mouth open, and wondering, “What just happened?”In the end I chalked it up as just a freak accident. That was a shame, because I had just purchased that computer table for my office and I really liked it. It was modern and cute. But obviously, it was also flawed. Eventually, I was able to get a refund from the manufacturer so I could buy a new table (from now on I’m staying away from tempered glass). But obviously the manufacturer could not help me with the immediate task at hand – cleaning up the mess.
I worked from home the next day, just because I didn’t want to deal with the mess. But then the day after that, I came into the office with dust pan and vacuum in hand, prepared to do some clean-up. It took me at least a couple of hours to get it all cleaned up. And all of those thousands of pieces ended up in my trash can. I figured from there on, the cleaning staff could deal with it. But I have to say, there was something appealing about all that glass in my trash can. It was sparkly, and shiny. I seemed to be drawn to it, though I couldn’t explain why. As a result, I ended up picking a few pieces out of the heap and keeping them. Perhaps I wanted a souvenir of my little experience? Could be. I ended up putting the pieces in my desk and not giving much thought to them after that.
Fast forward a few months. I’m now cleaning out my office because I’ve lost my job. As I was clearing my desk out, I come upon those pieces of glass. What do I do with them? Just with everything else, I packed them up and took them home. Now they are in my desk at home.
On occasion, I’ll get the glass out and look at it. It’s after having done this a few times that I’ve finally realized why these chunks mesmerize me. It’s because in their broken state, I see beauty within them that was not visible when the glass was whole. A whole piece of tempered glass is simply a clear piece of glass. But when it breaks, beautiful mosaic patterns form within the pieces. The tempered glass showed me that there is beauty in brokenness. And that sometimes it is necessary to be broken first before certain beauty can shine through.
Why does this matter to me? I’m hoping this concept applies to life, as well. So many times in my life I’ve felt broken, or flawed. But then, haven’t we all? Maybe it’s part of the master plan to have times when our lives seem shattered. Maybe it’s during those times that we find beauty in life, and in ourselves, that we didn’t know existed.
For instance, when my job went away I was heartbroken. I identified so much with my work that I was left wondering who I was once I left. Over the course of time, it’s been up to me to find my way back into my own identity. Who am I? Well, I’m a mother who has had the good fortune to be a little more involved in her children’s lives this past year. And I’m a wife who has a wonderful and supportive husband. And hopefully a good friend, though I do need to work on reconnecting with old friends and becoming more social. Plus I’m a person of faith who has had a little more time to give to my church of late.
Having said that, I can’t say that I’ve completely found my way back into my own identity. Far from it. That journey is still taking place. But the shattered glass, which I think I once viewed as a symbol of my own shattered life, now means something else. As I check out the jagged edges and the beauty of the patterns, I realize that this shattered glass symbolizes adversity. Adversity has the potential to toughen us up and make us stronger. But most of all, it has the potential to reveal the greater depths of our inner beauty.
I think I’ll keep those chunks of glass for a while longer. To me, they represent hope. They give me hope. And ultimately, I’m confident that it’s hope that will sustain me.
